November 28, 2007
Grocery Store v. Gun Shop
Posted by seed @ 3:53 PM
| Grocery Store | Gun Shop |
|---|---|
| Walls, aisles, shelves are lined with banal cautionary statements that tell people the blatantly obvious, such as: Harmful of fatal if swallowed - bottle of drano. | No disclaimers what-so-ever. You can walk into a concrete shed, armed to the teeth and never be told that it's loud in there; that guns fire bullets, which are harmful if stopped by appendages; or that the shooting of other patrons is prohibited. |
| Customers are told that shoplifters will be prosecuted by the fullest extent of the law. | Armed cashiers remove the need for No Shoplifting signs. |
| Excuse me. Can you tell me where the minced garlic is located? is met with a blank stare. A thorough description of minced garlic, its packaging, country of origin, and most common uses are required to kindle even the faintest of sparks. | Excuse me. I am looking for a dual-action Colt .45 revolver with a nickel finish and tortoise inlay in the handle. Third case on your left, second shelf, right corner, in the rear of the case, next to the snub-nosed .38 with the walnut grip. |
| An extra 45 minutes needs to be allocated to your weekend visit due to the fact that multiple customers will need to dispute coupons, price incentives and their position in line. | Terms, conditions and order of sales are determined by the armed cashiers. |
| On any given day, the conditions of the store can be found to have products in the wrong aisles, on the floor, open or damaged or left in the checkout line (my favorite). | Gun racks, need I say more? |
| Patrons wander aimlessly through aisles lacking direction, motivation and/or comprehension. | Guns and ammo make people courteous, efficient, determined and downright gleeful. |
Comments
uhhhhh, very nice. but, I think you mixed up the store labels.
Posted by: chuck@mint400.net | November 28, 2007 4:24 PM
I caught that when I was tweaking the css. If I had had a firearm strapped to my waist I am positive I would not have made such an error.
Posted by: seed | November 28, 2007 5:18 PM
My previous attempt at comment seemed to submit without me clicking the post button and was unfinifhed.... so if it appears, seed... please delete.
I had a grand diatribe concocted, as I am a gun owner and enthusiast... but I lack the ardor and enthusiasm to post it again. Instead. I leave you with three simple words to ponder as you contemplate the rule of law and the rule of force as it applies to the afore mentioned post.
And please investigate the book and not Big Willie...
I Am Legend.
Posted by: dutch | November 28, 2007 10:38 PM
I have always loved saying "An armed society is a polite society" because it takes most people a minute to get it.
By the way, I like my Nob Hill grocery. It's close and well run.
Posted by: Erik | November 29, 2007 12:33 AM
*disclaimer: The Typekey thing seems to be a bit hinkey. Most of the time it is crystal, as in clear and not Gale with brunette hair that you could braid around your neck while receiving head. - I bet it was good. There are other times where it logged me in and then bounced me when I post a comment. Granted that's at work and behind a robust FW. Still I cut & paste like it's a morale imperative.
Your initial diatribe did not come through, sadly.
I am intrigued by your suggestion of thought. Sure, gun shops get shot-up all the time. And, specifically, the shop in Homewood that Bergeron almost left most of his foot at was over-run by a pick-up and ransacked overnight. Aside from that, which is crime in the void of force, I have never had a negative personal experience in a firing range.
Case in point: Just this past weekend I was at the range with my father-in-law. The hispanic gentleman next to us had a .357 magnum that sounded like Big Mac was unloading a Louisville slugger on your aluminum garage door while you were standing on the opposite side, with a glass on the surface. Interestingly enough, the 12-gaugge pump that granny was getting used to on the other side of me was not as loud. Anyway, this dude was popping away with this man-stopper, albeit low every time, like a seasoned convict. 'Course, at 20' he'd only take your legs off at the knees, so it goes. When he was finished, he turned around, grabbed a broom and swept all his brass into a pan and dumped it into a recycle bin. Awesome.
Try to get some shit-for-brains to take their unwanted produce back to the semi-refrigerated section.
I'm not a protagonist for more force. At the same time, targeting those who respect it with needless legislation is a stiff cock in the ass, without the common courtesy of the reach-around.
Posted by: seed | November 29, 2007 12:37 AM