For those of you who snark with pride "Oh, jeeze, I'm no good at math. Besides, it's not like i need it..." congrats: you just bought yourself -- and the rest of us taxpayers -- up to 400,000 homes.

The country has spent billions of dollars on the Department of Education, including every idiotic attempt to recast teaching through some grand theory or another -- exemplified by the monumental stupidity of "new math" -- and gotten zilch for it. Instead, we get people with advanced degrees in "education" talking about how to let kids "explore" and be "involved" with their own learning. And since the education is free (well, directly anyway), people just let it go on. As the system got larger, parents learned they could just let the kids disappear for a few hours, and not really care what was going on. Oh, sure, not you. No, you're the special one who helped Timmy and Janie with their homework. But really, did you stop to look at the level of the homework, the mix of social studies, english, history, chemistry, and whatever else? Where did the basic math go? Or are you just pretty sure that Timmy and Janie just aren't that great at math, which, you know, is perfectly fine since different people are good at different things, and really, when was the last time you use trigonometry, or had to factor an equation?

Would it have been so easy if we were talking about reading? Sure, Timmy and Janie can do physics like a pro, but let's not worry about those english grades. Who the heck ever asked you to diagram a sentence at the grocery store?

Well, here's what you get: people too ill-equipped for life to figure out how much a monthly payment is going to be. People who cannot understand the consequences of their financial actions. And now that means we all have to shell out money so that these people don't suffer the consequences. This housing bill is, for all intents and purposes, a tax on smart people. At least, people smart to enough to look at their paychecks and figure out how much they can pay while still having enough to live on.

Yes, you in the back? What's that? Unfortunate circumstances, you ask? Can't plan for everything, you say? Ah, yes. The safety net thing. Well, fine. If you were a reporter I'm sure you could trot out one, three, or a bunch of well-meaning people just caught up in the swirl of life who just couldn't afford the house once things got bad.

My answer: meh.

This isn't a "sudden" problem, like a health crisis could be. You don't find out one day that your house is beyond your means. Including people who lose their jobs. Firings may happen quickly, but if you have a job where layoff is a real possibility, it is your responsibility to factor that into your calculations. Will you have enough money on hand to do a job search for up to six months? If you have kids, did you plan beforehand so that you'd have enough money or insurance in case your Little Snowflake has something seriously wrong with them?

Not understanding the possible future position you may be in is simply another way of saying that you're living paycheck to paycheck. And your parents should have told you that such a way of life is pretty much not a good idea once you're out on your own. But you know what else could have helped? Right. Math.

Math isn't simply geometry or figuring out how to take square roots. The point is to be able to frame a quantitative problem in such a way as to understand not just the answer, but how one might arrive at an answer. Life isn't just "I make X, my expenses are Y, thus I have X-Y at the end of the month." You have credit, and loans, and unexpected costs. What do you spend on average? What has been your median spending for them month? How much is the service charge on your credit card and how do you add that to what you already owe if you only pay the minimum?

None of this simply "happens" to people. Someone had to -- quoting Alec Baldwin's second greatest bit (and only second because I think comedy is harder than drama) -- sign on the line which is dotted. I just went through this in selling my old home. The woman who was buying it admitted that she had neither a real estate agent nor a lawyer. There was no way she understood the documents she was signing. Is this my fault? Not in the least. But it just got made a problem for all of us by the sheer multitude of people who did the exact same thing.

And what did the government tell all of them? "Don't worry, we'll take care of it. We'll just secure your mortgages using the assets of all the people who were able to figure out how to buy a home and not put themselves into a hole. Thanks for playing." But it doesn't end there. The idiots who made these mortgages are thus shielded from the full force of the fallout. It's been bad for some, but we've already seen the government bail out major firms as well. What message could you take away from that? How about "Get really fucking big, do whatever you want, and the government of your country will be here to step if it goes badly."

Please, make sure to feign surprise when we go through all of this again.